Doctor, Doctor...

I went to the doctor this afternoon. I ended up bringing Little Sister with me because she wasn’t feeling well. On our way in, she said, “We always come to this doctor.” I told her it’s because I like this doctor!

I never really cared about what doctor I saw. I used to see the same Birkenstock-wearing doctor my mom saw until I ended up getting an appointment with the only other female doctor in the practice. I couldn’t believe how different they were and immediately switched. When I was pregnant with Little Sister, I had to go to a different group because none of the doctors at my clinic did OB care. (I begged, too, but they wouldn’t start for me, how dare they?!) I ended up seeing a male doctor…and as it usually goes, by the end of my pregnancy, I didn’t care who was looking down there anymore.

When my insurance changed shortly after Little Sister was born, I had to change clinics again. I found a very nice doctor that I really liked before she moved to New Mexico. I chose my current doctor because I knew she would be a hard-ass about my weight. I need that. I don’t need a doctor who will smile and pat my arm and tell me she knows I’m trying. I need a doctor who will tell me to stop making excuses and get up off my ass and exercise.

Amazingly, I’ve been seeing her for almost five years now. I really like her and don’t mind driving more than a few miles out of my way to see her. She’s been with me through crazy diets, scared me about surgery, and written me prescriptions to make me exercise. This was the first time in a long time that I was excited to go to the doctor so I could show off my weight loss.

She’s so proud of me! (As I’m proud of myself!) It was so great to hear that I’m doing something right.

Onto the reason for my visit. I’ve been keeping a journal of my not sleeping patterns for the last two weeks. When I showed it to her, she asked me how I’ve been functioning. (And honestly, I’m not sure.) She asked about my history and family history. When I was in high school, I used to have nights where I wouldn’t sleep…and my dad has no trouble falling asleep, but can’t stay asleep. I’ve cut back on caffeine, increased my exercising, and tried everything I can think of to get to sleep.

My doctor said that if I could manage to get two weeks of good sleep—-with the help of medication-—that I may be able to get myself back on track and sleep without medication every night. She gave me Lunesta…I’ve tried Ambien CR and it hasn’t been working. She listed 4 or 5 other meds, but gave me Lunesta because she had samples—-which is okay by me. She also wrote me a prescription and a coupon for $25 off. (Also, fine by me.)

At this point, I’m desperate for sleep and willing to try anything. I’m off to bed…

Finding Time

Damn. A whole week. (And a day.) I've been trying. Really, I have.

My editing job has kept me busy. Especially since I'm not so good at scheduling. It's another thing I'm working on.

I've been sick. Little Sister has been sick.

I'm trying to cram too much into my life...it's getting to be a lot.
Employee. Editor. Mom. Wife. Friend. Dieter. Writer. Exerciser.
I'm not willing to give anything up. So I'm just going to have to try harder.

I'm down 20.2 pounds. My dad is coming from Texas to visit on March 24th...I'd like to have lost 30 by then. Totally doable.

I slept through the night last night for the first time in a LONG time. And I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday.

And I have NOT been wearing my pedometer. D'oh!

Do Ya Miss Me?

I was doing so well, too.

Wednesday night--Turbo Kick. I took some Excedrin PM. Helps me sleep, but I still wake up in the night and I get a massive hangover the next day. Ick.

Thursday night--Skipped Turbo, not feeling well. Took a sleeping pill, but not until about 10. Yes, I thought it was a magical pill that would put me out right away. It didn't. I was up for a while and woke up half a dozen times.

Friday night--stayed home. I was tired, but knew I wanted to take a pill Saturday night, and didn't want to take one 3 nights in a row--because I knew I was definitely taking one Saturday night. Slept horribly.

Saturday night--Turbo Kick in the am. Got sick in the afternoon. Like awful, in the bathroom every five minutes kind of sick. Decided NOT to take a sleeping pill in case...you know. Slept horribly.

Sunday night--Turbo Kick in the pm. Took a sleeping pill around 8:30. In bed at 9, asleep very shortly after. Awake at 2. Awake at 4. Awake at 5:30. Alarm at 6. (What is my problem?) But, sleeping from 9 until 2 is the longest sleep I've had in a while. Hooray for me.

Tonight, I am going to try to sleep without a pill. I went to Body Flow class, which is like Tai Chi. There's a relaxation time at the end, and I'm feeling very...relaxed. Except I turned my head funny and my neck hurts. I'm tired and I think I can fall asleep without help tonight. (Although staying asleep is another story.) If my Nuvaring was the problem, the hormones should be out of my system within the next couple of days. I'm going to lay off the sleeping pills and see how I do.

In other news, tonight was my weigh-in. I'm down... .8. Seriously. 19.8 pounds total. Bah. (I know. A loss is a loss. It's still frustrating.) I wanted to be down my 10%, which is 25.8 pounds by the time I hit 16 weeks...which is next week. Can I lose 6 pounds in a week? Probably. Will I keep it off the following week? Probably not. (Although I told my mom that I could hit the Y Biggest Loser style this week and maybe do it.)

I have stuff to write about. I just haven't been feeling well. But I'm here.

Insomnia

I had another topic to write about tonight, but I've had this on my mind. I haven't been sleeping well.

Sunday night, I was up until one in the morning. When I finally forced myself to go to bed, I lay restless until at least two. Then I was up at 2:40. Up at four. Up at 4:40. I can't fall asleep. I can't stay asleep. I've been this way for months.

I've been exercising more than I ever have before. I'm eating right. I've cut back on caffeine and limited myself in the afternoon. Still, I can't sleep. I'm emotional. Irritable. The circles beneath my eyes are growing.

On Tuesday, I decided that enough time had passed that it was time to call my doctor. Of course, she was off yesterday, so I called her today. She called me back this evening, and I wondered if it might be my birth control. I have a long, complicated history with birth control, but the short story is that I was on Yasmin for years and everything was perfect until it wasn't perfect and last August, my doctor put me on the Nuvaring, which I love. However, right now, it's the only medication I take regularly, and I started having trouble sleeping at some point last fall...I thought it was the stress of the kids starting school...and then our upcoming trip to Nebraska...and then the holidays. I thought it was normal...but month after month of 3-5 hours of sleep per night has led me to think that maybe it's not so normal.

She told me she hadn't really heard of there being a link between the Nuvaring and insomnia, but since it's hormone related--and hormones do pretty much whatever the heck they want to--it could be the problem. She asked if I had trouble sleeping during my week off the ring...but I haven't been taking that week off, because she told me not to. I'd been having some major problems when having my period--most importantly debilitating headaches--and she told me to use the ring for three weeks and then put a new one in instead of taking week off. I still get my period every other month or so while on the ring, but it's not nearly as bad as it was.

My doctor suggested I "go off" the ring and see what happens. She told me to take it out and the hormones should be out of my system in 3-4 days. She said to give it a week or so and see how I'm sleeping--she's sending me samples of a sleep aid in the meantime, thank God, sleep! If I'm still not sleeping well, then I have to go see her to figure out what's wrong. (And I can go back on the ring.)

I'm torn. I'm worried I'm going to gain weight when I stop using the ring. I'm pissed that I just got a three month supply and now I'm wasting the one I just put in last week. (On the other hand, some decent sleep sounds so good to me, I don't care about the money.) Without the birth control, I didn't have my period for over a year--frustrating considering we wanted to get pregnant during that time. We're not trying to get pregnant right now, which is one reason I haven't minded staying on the birth control. I'm not worried about getting pregnant...I'm worried that my body is too screwed up to have a normal cycle without help. It took a lot for me to get back to normal...and I know I'm worrying for nothing, because if I'm still having trouble sleeping after a week, then it will be a moot point, and I'll go back on the Ring, and not have to worry about periods or pregnancy...and then I'll worry about why I can't sleep.

Kettle Hell

Oh. My. God.

Kettlebell class...so hard.

They had 10, 15, and 20 pound Kettlebells. I picked up a 15-pounder...then put it down and picked up the 10-pound. Didn't even glance at the 20 pound weight. (Although I'm pretty sure the Hubster picked one up, then put it back and took at 15-pounder.)

Trainer Dan demonstrated some of the moves while I watched with wide eyes, shaking my head. Trainer Dan is obviously insane.

Seriously? He squatted with the weight hanging between his legs, then swung it forward, up over his head. He did WHAT? You heard me.

He sat on the ground, holding the kettlebell at his chest with his elbows out, rolled down onto his back, then shot up, raising the the weight above his head. The girl across the room from me burst out laughing at the dirty look I gave Trainer Dan.

Then the fun started. A quick warm-up with some marching, some squats, some dead-lifts. And then we picked up the weights.

Oh. My. God.

I was sweating almost immediately. And not pretty droplets on my forehead or gee, my shirt's a little wet sweating...bright red, hey look at me, I'm sweating! kind of sweating.

But I squatted. And I tilted. And I swung that damn weight. I even did the sadistic sit-ups.

Trainer Dan said that one 30 minute class can burn as many calories as an hour of Turbo Kick. Hmmm. Makes me think.

Would I do it again? Yes. Would I pay $70 for 7 weeks of once-a-week classes? Probably not?

The best part about my YMCA is that all the stuff--the track, the studios, the weights, everything--is upstairs. So at the end of my workout, when I think I'm about to die, I still have to walk down those stairs and pick up Little Sister. Tonight, I made it down two steps. Maybe. And then I grasped the railing and said, "Oh. My. God. I'm not going to make it down these stairs."

A lady coming up the steps laughed and said, "Did you just do Turbo Kick? I went to my first class last week and felt just like that!"

I laughed and told her that I do that, too. But not tonight. Oh no, that's tomorrow. If I live that long.

Date Night...

Not flowers and candy, followed by candle light, oysters, and hours of sex.

GIRL date night.

Catching up with my girlfriend--M, who LOVES her snazzy new nickname, by the way. Sitting and eating...God, delicious french fries, which turned out to be ENDLESS, but I only had one serving. We talked about several million topics and discovered that besides sharing a name, we have the same wedding band, the same fears, and that we are essentially the same person. We even dreamed about each other the other night--no funny business, we were competing in Iron Chef in mine and shopping at Walmart in hers...bizarre.

I had a fantastic time and hope we get to see each other more often!

I got home and discovered I'd have to walk a good two and a half miles to hit my step goal, so I hung up my pedometer at just over 5000 steps for today. (And Lindsay was out of the office today, so my beating stress phone consult got rescheduled.)

The greatest news of all is that I'm down FOUR more pounds for a total of 19!!!

The Hubster is rubbing my feet right now because they're freezing. What a guy...he must be confused as to what kind of date I had tonight.